Beginner How to Train Your Butt 4 Anal Sex? – II

This is Part 2 of “How to Train Your Butt for Anal Sex”. If you missed Part 1 here is the LINK

How to do it

Mentally, you’re ready. You’ve purchased your toy, or you’re starting with fingers. It seems that you’re ready to take your first foray into your anus. But where to start? Now that we’ve gotten the basics of beginner anal toys out of the way, what will follow is a step-by-step guide to exploring this particular nether region comfortably and safely. 

1. Clean your hole—and make peace with its other functions.


For many people, taking a shower and cleaning with body-friendly soap is all that’s needed for prep. (If you’d like to take things a step further, ask your doctor if it’s safe for you to do an at-home enema.) Feeling comfortable and at peace with your ass, in all its functions, is a non-negotiable part of any anal play that’s actually intended to be fun and feel good:

While poop might scare us, it is a signal that our bodies are working the way they’re intended to. Release your fears about shit. Holding onto that anxiety can keep you from being able to relax. Being relaxed is a key part of this process. It’s not a sure thing that poop will be involved whatsoever! Also, it’s going to be OK if it is. 

2. Warm up your hole by getting turned on through touch without penetration.

A crucial part of anal training is getting your ass used to touch and pleasure. The best way for this is to start with massaging the outside of the anus. Lube and fingers. Feel free to use nitrile gloves if you want the extra barrier. If the idea of a mouth on a butt-hole freaks you or your partner out, try using a dental dam as a barrier.  

3. Ease into your asshole with your fingers or a small toy and see how you feel.

All right, you’re warmed up, turned on, and feeling good. Time to go in. You can do this with your lubed fingers if that’s where you want to start. For training purposes I’ll be explaining it using a plug as an example.

Get into a comfortable position. If you’re solo, laying on your side with bent knees might allow you more access than laying on your back. Even though you’ve already warmed up your butt with some foreplay and lube, add more lube. Lube should be on your toy as well as the outside of your anus. Use a lubed finger (if you feel comfortable) to put some lube inside your body. You can also use a lube shooter for this. 

Take a relaxing breath and start to push the toy inside, slowly. Since this is new, don’t be discouraged if it takes five minutes to insert the plug. If it feels like it’s stuck or hard to push forward take it out and add more lube. Remember, just relax and do whatever gives you the most of pleasure. Different people have different pleasure points – in their anus as well as in their brain.

Once the toy is inside, congrats! Take another breath! Masturbate! Have sex! Take a selfie if you’re wearing a plug with some bling on it! Have fun! Try and enjoy the sensation and experiment to see what feels good. 

Pulling out could be as intense as pushing the toy in

To remove the toy, take STILL ANOTHER deep breath and don’t rush while you’re pulling the plug out. Add more lube to the outside of your anus. Focus on those sphincters and try to unclench them: taking a plug out can feel just as intense as a toy entering as the end taper isn’t usually as gradual as the taper at the tip. If it feels hard, don’t stress—try again with more lube. 

Do this as often as you want. Keep in mind the more you practice, the easier it’ll become. You could even do anal training daily! Once a toy feels comfortable entering and exiting your body you’re ready to move up a size, keeping in mind, again, it’s a gradual increase. 

General tips

When should I stop if something doesn’t feel right?

Anal sex can feel slightly uncomfortable as your bum gets used to something entering it. Adding lube, experimenting with different positions, being turned on and relaxed can help or alleviate the problem. A sharp or throbbing pain is an indication to pause. Anal sex shouldn’t be painful. Nothing should be forced inside. It might be a good opportunity to let tops know that forcing will not work for your partner. And, in many more cases than not, if bottom is not enjoying sex it mean that top will not enjoy it either. Just remember – sex is “making love” rather than some sort of a competition.

Inner sphincter cannot be consciously controlled. It is an involuntary muscle. However, with practice, it’s possible to consciously loosen up the outer sphincter. That’s really important throughout your training. Without a relaxed sphincter, anal sex can feel really uncomfortable. Pushing through any pain can cause muscle memory in your body which will make it tougher to relax later on. If you feel pain, take the toy out and give yourself a day or so before trying again. Remember, we’re NOT “working through” any pain. 

No stretching will be permanent. Your tissues and sphincters are meant to stretch, as well as bounce back to their original shape. Anal sex is also a mental game. That is what we are also working on getting control over. Not physically changing our body forever. 

Anal sex comes with risks for a bottom

All sex comes with risks. Along with pain you could see blood. As a matter of fact, it is good for both partners to know that almost every penetration is associated with some minor bleeding. In a huge majority of cases bleeding is by a bottom partner. However, bleeding is not uncommon for top partner either. Bleeding should not be visible in most of situations.

A little bit of blood may not mean you need to rush to a hospital. However anal fissures can happen if the delicate tissues around your anus tear. Anal sex can also irritate hemorrhoids, so adding extra lube can help prevent irritation. Still, colon perforation, while super uncommon, is possible. Using ample amounts of lube and listening to you (or your partner’s) body is key. If you bleed—even a little—every time you try anal, talk to your doctor. 

After any sort of anal play, treat your butt to some aftercare! Besides washing your body and hands, linens, and toys, it’s a good idea to gently wipe around your anus with gentle baby wipes. The area around your anus is sensitive, add a little Backdoor Balm to your delicate tush tissues to help sooth and hydrate your skin. 

Nice. I trained with a butt plug a few times—I even started using a slightly bigger plug! What’s next? 

Now, you’ll get your sphincters used to not only staying open, but the in-and-out motion of anal sex. 

Using plugs where the bases get gradually larger along the length of the toy is a great method for achieving this goal. Once a plug with a larger base enters your body, focus on your breathing and consciously relaxing—this helps you practice relaxing the sphincter while being open. 

OK, I’m feeling like it’s time for butt sex! Anything else I should know?

So now you’re ready to take a dick and/or dildo! If you’re using the latter: Look for smooth dildos that have a girth and length you’re comfortable with. Just like with plugs, you are going to want to practice by going up in size. Glass toys are great for sliding in and out of a body. Squishier silicone dildos conform to your body’s shape while silicone with a harder density is great for hitting P-spots. 

Remember with plugs, how the sphincter closes down around the end of the toy? It’s a different feeling for your anus to stay open around a phallus-shaped toy or penis, especially if there’s a thrusting motion happening at the same time. If you’ve scaled up faithfully and feel good about the progress you’ve made, you and your partner have talked about the need to go slowly and carefully, and you’ve got plenty of lube on hand, it might be time for a fuller guide to anal sex. There are some good tips for anal sex you can find here as well. Go put your anal training to incredible use. You’ve prepared so well for this moment. 

If all this preparations get you into anal fisting, you might want to check this article.

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