Beginner How to Train Your Butt for Anal Sex? – I

Anyone who’s gone on an anal penetration journey knows you can’t just jump fist-first into a hole. Here’s how to get started – Beginners how to train your butt for anal sex – part I

By Archie Bongiovanni

Butts are wonderful! They look great and they’re also full of nerve endings, meaning anal sex can result in some bomb orgasms. But, as pleasurable as penetration can be, butts need to be warmed up first. Anyone who has started their anal journey knows you can’t just jump fist-first into a hole. Well, that is not 100% true but some training prior to penetration is commendable.

“Anal training” refers to the steps to getting you and your anus prepared and happy to receive butt sex. It is done by gradually stretching it with fingers and toys, little by little and over time. Training, luckily, is part of the fun of all things anal. It can be done solo or with partners.

Your anus consists of two sphincters. An inner one that you can’t control, and an outer sphincter that can be taught to relax, to open, to let pleasure in. As your body gets more accustomed to various sizes of toys, you can move on to bigger toys or body parts as you wish.

What you’ll need

As you start your butt journey, keep in mind that every butt is different. What might be one person’s starting point might be another’s end goal. The amount of time it’ll take to move from a single finger or a smaller toy to a larger-sized toy or anal sex is going to be just as unique as your perfect tush. However, broadly speaking: The more you play and the more your body gets used to the sensations, the faster you’ll be able to train up your butt.  

What types of anal training toys might be right for my butt?

The best toys for anal training are specifically made for anal play. Remember those sphincters we talked about earlier? The outer sphincter pushes things out and the inner sphincter pulls in—literally, it’ll pull things inside once they enter. This is why anal toys NEED flared bases: The flared base prevents it from being sucked inside and stops you from needing to explain to an ER nurse what you were doing on a Saturday night. This is why I’ll only be recommending specific sex toys, and not a bullet vibrator (or, like, a toothbrush). 

Don’t be scared of your sphincters, though. Anal training is specifically about learning to relax these sphincters. You can gradually and gently increase the size of what enters your anus. 

Anal plugs are not only a great starting point for anal training, but are also a superb addition to sex or masturbation even if you’re not trying to become an ass aficionado. They got their name from being sex toys that essentially “plug” the ass. But, more than that, they focus on stimulating the opening and first few sensitive inches of your bum-hole. 

Plugs are designed to ease into your body…

Plugs are designed to ease into your body and then sit there, which sounds boring, but they’re actually filling your body, rubbing against all your engorged sex organs from the inside. If you look at many plugs, there is a narrow tip that gets gradually larger and a base that tapers back down before the flare. This is great for keeping a plug to stay in place–sphincters squeeze down around the thinner base so it doesn’t move around unless you want it to. 

If anal sex is your endgame with anal training, keep in mind that anal plugs are just the beginning. Since plugs are mostly meant to sit still in your body, they’re the perfect starting point to introduce your body to the joys of anal penetration— but plan on using dildos to practice an in-and-out motion we’ll get into more below. 

There are also many anal training kits out on the market. These can save you bucks buying multiple size toys at once. However, they don’t always have the perfect size for every body, so pick carefully. Most kits come with three plugs.

What toy materials and sizes should I look for?

Anal toys come in all shapes, sizes and textures for a reason. Don’t be afraid to explore what else is out there beyond basic plugs as you get more accustomed to penetration. Any anal toy you put up your ass gives you a chance to practice relaxing your pelvic floor and anal sphincters (while getting off). Anal beads and textured plugs give you pops of pleasure. Weighted plugs are amazing to wear during other forms of sex because they offer a “full” feeling while they’re in place during other sexual movement. Prostate toys are specifically shaped to hit the P-spot and can give the wearer a totally different type of orgasm. 

All silicone toys have a drag to them, and the butt doesn’t naturally lubricate itself, so don’t be scared to add more lube than you usually would. Glass anal toys have less drag and can be easier to pop in and out of your body.

Did I mention lube? We need to talk about lube. Silicone lube lasts the longest and has the most glide, but isn’t compatible with silicone toys. Water-based lubes are compatible with all toys and barrier methods, but absorb the fastest and need to be re-applied often. Oil-based lube is both slippery and hydrating, but breaks down latex and polyisoprene barriers (like condoms). Avoid any numbing lube—pain is an indication that something isn’t working, and anal shouldn’t hurt. 

When should I expect to “graduate” from a smaller toy to a bigger one? Basically… how long will this take?

There isn’t going to be a prescribed timetable for this, as again, every butt is an individual. If you’re up for it, try anal training four or five times a week, keeping the toy (a plug or movement with a dildo) in for 10 to 15 minutes. I would suggest waiting a week or two before graduating to the next size, just to make sure you really are comfortable with the toy you have. The butt is sensitive, so don’t jump from too far when sizing up. Think ¼ an inch at a time. Once a toy feels comfortable entering and exiting your body, you’re ready to size up. Don’t move up a size if there’s any pain or if it’s uncomfortable. 

Anal training is not a race, and there’s not really an end point. Since your butt is a muscle, it has muscle memory. If, at one point, you’re able to take an eight-inch dildo, and the next time you try it, you’re unable to accommodate those inches, it just means your butt is out of practice. Basically, any time you want to put large things inside your butt, training up to that point first is a good idea.


That is enough for beginning folks. This is the end of the Part I of Training your butt for anal sex. Be patient and persistent with your butt-training. Second part is coming soon


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