10 Hook-up tips and tricks for gay beginners

10 Hook-up Tips – Things You Can Do To Hook-Up With More Gay Men

A hookup culture is one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one-night stands and other related activity, without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding or a committed relationship. It is generally associated with Western late adolescent sexuality and, in particular, United States college culture. The term hookup has an ambiguous definition because it can indicate kissing or any form of physical sexual activity between sexual partners. The term has been widely used in the U.S. since at least 2000. It has also been called non-relationship sex, or sex without dating.


One should not forget that almost every relationship starts with some sort of a hook-up.

Have you at any point seen a super-hot person stray away with somebody you would not care about? The skill of inducement has significantly more to do with social abilities than with bare actual physical attraction or fascination. It is not 15 kilograms you need to lose to get more gay men—it is your internal feelings of anxiety. Particularly if you are not at some typical gay hook-up spot. Otherwise you might opt for a gay sauna. It would be hard to start relationship there though. Not impossible but…

Approach a Lot of Guys – Nobody has 100% success – More you try, better you chances

To begin in the impromptu hook-up game, you need to go where gay men are. Then figure out how to move close to them. Not just a couple of folks places, but where numerous gay guys congregate. Cannot initiate a discussion?  You will not get an opportunity to tempt somebody you are attracted to without conversation. Unless you are in gay sauna. You need to develop some social skills necessary for successful hook-up. And, let’s face it – nobody is 100% successful. More you try – better your chances. Try to learn from your failures. Make a fun out of it. Do not get easily discouraged and jump on Grindr. Anyone can hook-up on Grinder. Well, almost anyone.


Nothing shows uncertainty and anxiety like wavering. Uncertainty and apprehension are not appealing characteristics. Practice the five-seconds guideline. Train yourself to move toward your objective and approach him inside five seconds of making an eye contact. An eye contact is very important ingredient in gay hook ups.

Get familiar with Some Approaches

A tactic of using an excuse—any “pardon”—to begin a discussion with somebody. “How would I get to Hyatt Hotel?” “There’s something up on your collar.” “I noticed something about you… ” The most straightforward of all methodologies is just to grin and say “greetings.” Forget about pickup lines like “I need to soften in your mouth, not in your grasp.”— they are fake. They convey on a lot of sexual interests, and leave you no area to take the discussion further. It is too early to make him chose!

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Have an Hook-up Opener

Once you have traded a couple of words create openers or standard conversational ploys that will draw in your objective. Have a go at something alarming: “That wasn’t your vehicle ablaze in the parking area, was it?” “Did you see those two people battling outside?” Or hear a point of view: “Hello, would I be able to ask you a question? What’s the most ideal approach to seek retribution on an ex? This person I know… ” Develop your opener into somewhat routine by adding clear subtleties (“One fire fighter was studly to such an extent that… “)

Get your objective included and keep him connected until he offers hints of beginning to unwind. In some cases it assists with giving the opener a time imperative so he thinks you might soon be on your way (“I must go get my mate, however… )

Learn Disinterested Interest

Keep him unsure when he is sensing you are attempting to get him. This permits time for his fascination and attraction to start happening. Continue to talk in an amicable manner while envisioning you are not actually that intrigued explicitly. Be warned – If you play this for too long you might discourage him. Make a judgement is this right time to clarify expectations in terms of preferred role sexually. Do not rush with it but do not wait too long either. This tips are not strict plan that has to be followed strictly. Make adjustments as required. I really cannot do this hook-up for you completely.

Try not to Compliment – NEG instead

Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator’s approval. The term was coined and prescribed by pickup artists.


Since praises (“I love your grin!”) show your fascination, toss them in the dustbin with the conversation starters. All things considered, figure out how to neg. Negging is the craft of offering a half-praise, setting up a discord in your target. Models: “I love your grin—are you wearing supports?” “That is a decent shirt—did you get it at the discount shopping center?” “I’ve never seen hair like that.” The neg ought to be consistently agreeable and positive and just subconsciously to be annoying. Neg excite your subject by sending opposing signs spinning his brain and making him captivated and intrigued.

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Carefully watch his response, verbal and body language. If he starts responding like he thinks you are some weird person, move on from this. The idea is to create his curiosity. To have him interested to find out more about you. Be aware that there is no absolutely “cool” things. Something cool for some people is not for others.

Exhibit your Social Values

At the point when you meet don’t quit talking. Just quit talking in a meaningless way. Figure out how to appear clever and engaging and project yourself in a positive light through your narratives.   Discussion about exes or hang a “companion” around your shoulder to exhibit that others believe you are alluring. At the end of the day, give him enough ammo to legitimize an interest if not fascination toward you. Once he is interested, you’ll recognize the signs clearly through his body language, in his eyes. Circumstances permitting, try to speak quietly but not to whisper.

Whispering might indicate you are insecure. Speaking quietly gives impression of being confident. Also observe if he is getting closer to you because he is interested in your story or is he doing it because you are speaking too softly. There is always possibility that he might move away from you. That is sign that he is not interested in conversation or that topic is making him uncomfortable. Try to change the topic or move on. Stay in good spirits and try your gay hook-up tactics with next “victim”. Feeling like a hunter is not bad after all.

Keep physical contact – That is what hook-up is all about

Without physical contact there is no sex. Not even in Covid19 era. To get the ball moving, touch (physical contact) early and regularly. Ensure your touches are arousing and inspiring. Not rough sexual groping! Have a look at his cool wristwatch. Level his muddled-up collar. Touch his fingers. Scrutinize his palm. Test his kiss-capacity. Your brief contacts will leave him asking for more. Or not. In any case you will know should you proceed or move on. Do not give up too easily but avoid becoming too annoying.

Separate, Move, Develop Affinity

Sooner or later, he may end up in your room. You can speed up  the process by driving him away to a nonpartisan area.  Away from his companions. Keep creating affinity and sexual interest. Welcome him to a tranquil corner of the bar. Maybe outside for a breath of a fresh air or to a close by restaurant. If he accept your suggestions then he is certainly interested. You could invite him to your place at this point. If he is reluctant to go to your place then going to a near by restaurant for a snack or cup of coffee will give him time to relax. If he accept your invitation to go to your place then move to the last hook-up tip:

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Make him your Sexual Collaborator

It takes two to tango. Back at your pad, suggest that he select some delicate music. Or maybe turn down the lights. Offer to rub his back. Or ask if he can rub yours. Kissing after coming in and locking the door is fine. Actually, it is a must. He will not be surprised. Surely he knew that you did not invite him for a political discussion. Unless you did, of course. Just do not be too pushy. Well, it all depends on do you want this hook-up to end with just a quick sexual encounter or you are open for more if suitable. Make him accomplice in setting up the intimate moment. You may both be astonished by what grows normally and naturally. Make him to feel calm and relaxed. Be active and maintain initiative – unless you prefer your partner to do so.

Do not be too concerned about my use of term “hook-up”. Every pick-up starts as a hook-up. Gay or not. Hook-up can end just as that – a quickie – or it might be the beginning of a great relationship. Nobody knows that in advance. Do not feel guilty about your sexual desires. I would be worried if you have none at your age.

Incredibly IMPORTANT for any HOOK-UP

Every reasonable and decent person is concerned about his own as well as his partner’s wellbeing. Anal sex is considered to be high risk sexual activity. Be open about your expectations and rules and respect your partner’s expectations and rules. Anal sex is considered safe if at least one of the partners regularly takes PrEP. Bringing PrEP into conversation also signals what your preferences or intentions are. We live in a post-condom era when it comes to anal sex but I would suggest you keep a spare condom in your pocket or wallet.

For those without any clues – just relax – sex is a natural thing.

If you have to then use these graphical “instructions”

And remember – be happy and have fun and share it with your partner. Life is too short to let opportunities slip through your hands.

I bet you had pretty good idea before this graphical demonstration.

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