Sharing Experience – Sex Change

Sexual Function of a Post-op Transsexual Male to Female


Hi everyone! In this video, I thought I’d share the sexual experience after sex change surgery. If you would like to know about my SRS, please watch my video on that. [SRS] It’s been about seven months since my SRS, and things are still healing, nerves are still reconnecting. So, I will have a one-year update for you all. [1 Year Post-op] As a warning, this video is very graphic, as I go into a lot of detail. But, this is for educational purposes.

So to begin, I have to say that I have never had sex, neither before, nor after surgery. So, I don’t know what that’s like and cannot talk about that. Though, because I finally have the right genitals that I am comfortable with, it certainly is much more of a possibility now. That is if I was in a serious relationship. But anyway, I am going to discuss how everything worked down there, before hormones, while taking hormones, and post surgery.


So, the first time I masturbated was pre-hormones and pre-puberty. I had to have been around 10 or 11. I have no idea how it started. When I had an orgasm, and since it was pre-puberty, there was no ejaculation. So, I was able to continually, in the same session, keep having orgasms. I remember saying just how weird it was. It wasn’t necessarily a good feeling, but it just felt weird to me.

Once puberty started to kick in, the male sex drive becomes astronomical. It’s just practically non-stop sexual thoughts. For me, going several days without masturbation was very difficult. Stopping was impossible. For a piece of information, the body continues to produce sperm, which has to be expelled. And when you don’t ejaculate, it can end up happening when you are sleeping, which is gross. Also, the ejaculation is what makes it impossible to keep having orgasms. The only way to achieve multiple orgasms as a male that ejaculates is to stop the ejaculation. That is possible, though can be difficult since you have to train the body for such a task.

A Myth

There is a myth that masturbation causes acne. That is technically false. It is male ejaculation that can lead to acne and hair loss. Here’s why, after male ejaculation, dihydrotestosterone, or DHT, is produced in the prostate. Too much DHT in the system causes many issues like hair loss, acne, and benign enlargement of the prostate. This means that ejaculation is linked to higher DHT levels, which is linked to hair loss and acne. But, this does not affect every male. So the myth, while technically false, is true in a way. Masturbation by itself will not cause acne, but male ejaculation will for some. Though, as I said, it is possible to masturbate and orgasm without ejaculation. But, it has to happen eventually since the testicles continually produce sperm.

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So, I had all these problems from my DHT levels being too high. I had the severe hair loss and acne. Plus, I would get a burning and swelling sensations in the prostate. All this if I ejaculated too frequently. When I managed to stop for about two weeks, I noticed that after the first week, the acne and prostate problems would begin to go away. But, within three days after ejaculating, it came back.

I also had so much hatred towards myself after I did this, which I believe could also have been hormonal. Prior to puberty, I had no regrets about doing it, but once I was able to ejaculate, and thus higher testosterone levels, I hated myself for doing it. Saying, “Why did I do this? I’m never doing it again.” Yet, after a few days I did it again because the urge started to kick in. I absolutely hated it and hated myself for doing it.

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Surprised frustrated young woman

To my surprise, I found that as my body began to change on hormones, so did my sexual orientation.

In March of 2015, I made the huge step to go on hormones and start the process of transitioning from male-to-female through the use of Hormone Replacement Therapy, otherwise known as HRT. I was excited, but there were more than a few surprises in store for me as the months went on, a few of which I decided to share.

1. My Sexual Orientation Flipped

In March, if I had to describe my orientation, I would have said I was almost completely attracted to women, with slight wiggle room for the occasional crush on a dude. To my surprise, I found that as my body began to change on hormones, so did my sexual orientation. I was more and more attracted to men, progressing from more physically attracted to women, but more psychologically attracted to men, to finally where I am now, which is almost completely physically and psychologically attracted to men, with slight wiggle room for the occasional crush on a girl. I read up on this phenomenon, and it’s not uncommon among those who undergo transition, but I wouldn’t have minded someone letting me in on the fact this could happen!

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2. My Libido Diminished Dramatically

Although self-explanatory, the experience of losing the intensity of my male libido was alarming at first, but after I adjusted to it, I found myself feeling liberated and refreshed — so to speak. For me, the male libido and sort of hyperdrive mentality that accompanied it were profoundly distressing throughout my life, and the source of much anxiety. Now, I can hardly remember what that felt like, although I do know for certain that it was absolutely not for me.

3. My Experience of Arousal Transformed

Whereas arousal pre-HRT was a very sharp feeling, and almost entirely manifested due to physical triggers, I discovered that, with the presence of estrogen, I could mentally cue myself to feel more or less aroused. Sometimes this was deliberate, sometimes not, and the latter can be very disappointing when something minor suddenly interrupts the dreamy headspace of psychologically-initiated arousal. When arousal became more mental, it gave me more control over my own experience that I never had before, and to me that is so satisfying that I can hardly do it justice through words.

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How I learned to orgasm after sex reassignment surgery


My vagina came with an instruction manual.


At least that’s what I called the papers my surgeon gave me before I was discharged from the hospital. Those documents told me how to care for the scars next to my labia so that they would fade over time. They told me when to see a gynaecologist and how often to get a pap smear. They even specified how long I would have to wait to use a hot tub again—12 weeks, if you’re wondering.

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But one thing they didn’t teach me was how to have an orgasm. I had to figure that out on my own.

After my sex reassignment surgery two-and-a-half years ago, my doctor ensured I could locate the essentials: clitoris, urethra, and vagina. Beyond that, though, her main advice for sexual gratification was to “be inventive and open-minded,” as if I were about to finger paint or go on a study abroad trip. I wanted details. You don’t give a novice baker a pantry full of ingredients and tell them to be creative; you say precisely how much flour and butter to use.

People who are transphobic spread three major myths about transgender women who have had sex reassignment surgery. The first is that our bodies have been “mutilated.” The second is that we regret what we did. The third is that we can’t come.

My personal experience


All of them are false. Scientific research proves it and so does my personal experience.

For a long time, I didn’t want to tell my own story. But it’s difficult to debunk those transphobic fictions without veering into personal and potentially uncomfortable territory. As Vogue columnist Karley Sciortino recently observed, there is a “lack of conversation around sex for women who have had sex reassignment surgery,” partly because those of us in the transgender community usually have to “steer the focus away from ‘the surgery’” when interviewers get fixated on our genitals.

“Is it time for a nuanced discussion about sex and pleasure for trans women?” Sciortino asked.


That conversation is already happening away from prying eyes. But even though transgender people are not obligated to clear up public misconceptions about their private parts, I volunteer as tribute. Those three myths have been around too long.

Before I can continue my story I have to bust the first one: Sex reassignment surgery is not “mutilation.” The American Medical Association wouldn’t support it if it were.

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