Published By: David Artavia
Sometimes life isn’t a bowl of cherries. We work hard, expect tremendous results, but sadly are welcomed with disappointment. Where can we turn when everything seems to be flying straight into the sh*tter?
The good news is that everyone feels this way from time to time. It’s a sad lesson in life: there are going to be good times and bad times. We’re not tested based on what we accomplish. We’re tested based on how we overcome obstacles that get in our way – that’s what defines a hero. Here are some things to think about:
#1) Being different is actually a good thing.
It takes a while for people to grasp the idea of being different. We always try to be marketable for the public, our bosses, and potential (possibly future) boyfriends. We’re comfortable molding ourselves around what’s popular. But being different is the only way for us to stand out. To deny our flaws is to reject our own identity. There’s incredible power in saying, “F*ck it… I am who I am. Take me or leave me.” Being different is something to strive for. Stop running away from it.
#2) There is more right with you than there is wrong.
The only reason why we feel like everything is wrong is because that’s all we’re thinking about. Hardly anyone takes the time to dwell on the good stuff because there’s no use – we focus on things that need fixing. But there’s nothing wrong with us simply because something is hard for us that seems easy to someone else – everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. And believe me, you have a plethora of strengths.
#3) You always have a support system. ALWAYS.
When you’re falling deeper into a pit of despair, it feels lonely. But trust me when I say you always have a tremendous support system around you, whether it feels like it or not. Friends, family, coworkers, strangers on the street even – we’re all here for each other, and believe it or not, we all enjoy knowing that we’re not alone in our struggles.
#4) Sometimes there are no lessons to be learned at all.
Every time something bad happens, our friends are the first to say, “It happened for a reason. There are tremendous lessons to be learned.” Sometimes there isn’t anything to learn at all. Sometimes sh*t just happens for no reason. And you know what? That’s a beautiful thing because that’s how life works. The sooner we accept that things are going to land where they land, the sooner we’ll be able to stop bitching about it and start figuring out how to manipulate it to our advantage. You can’t sit around and wonder what there is to learn from disappointment. While you’re moping, there are other people seeking opportunities from it.
#5) Heartbreak is always turned into strength.
When I got my heartbroken for the first time, it felt like the worst thing to ever happen in my life. But as I healed, my perspective on things started to change because as the wound started to close, I gained knowledge of my worth. The affirmation of my value became the balm that healed my heartache, and I never forgot it. I carry it on to the next chapter, and it gets stronger and stronger. While heartbreak feels like a fresh wound, understand that it will always heal with a tougher skin.
#6) Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.
When you’re in a vulnerable state, everything is life or death. The smallest things make you paranoid and eager to compete to try and prove your value. But nothing is ever as bad as it might feel in the current five minutes. Instead of overreacting based on a short-lived moment, give yourself a couple hours before embracing reality. You will probably see it much differently.
#7) When people treat you like sh*t, treat them like your best friend.
Your character is based on how you treat people, not on how people treat you. There are going to be people from all walks of life who think they’re better than you. Even when you go out of your way to make them feel good, they will take your kindness and crush it – but you know what? It doesn’t even matter. The world around you and everyone in it sees the contradiction, and will always refer back to it.
#8) Everything is a challenge, not a DEAD END.
Saying something is the “end” is a stupid excuse. Nothing is over until you’re dead. You’re never too old to start anything you want to accomplish. So long as you’re alive, you can do anything you put your heart into. You’re doing yourself an extreme injustice by telling yourself it’s over for you. Challenges are everywhere.
#9) One crappy day doesn’t take away from all you’ve accomplished.
It’s easy to take a crappy situation and have that be a representation of all we are or have ever done. Just because one person disappointed you, you had one lousy presentation, an awkward encounter with a man you like, or didn’t perform your best at any given moment doesn’t take away from the countless of times you were on you’re A-game. We’ve all had sh*tty moments, but never do they represent the whole picture.
#10) You are who YOU say you are.
You’re not like the rest of them. You’re different. You’re amazing. People say the strangest things to make their egos feel better – some even go so far as to rip you to shreds in an effort to maintain their esteem. People react differently to all kinds of situations, but all you can control is how YOU react to THEM. Once you know what you have to offer, you’re always going to walk into a circumstance differently. Knowledge of power is the only way to own yourself.