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Words by Liam Murphy @Liamwaterloo

Life is great when you’re on top. All you have to do is bend your lover/stranger you met on Grindr over and slip, push, shove, ram, pound or pummel it in. All of the pleasure, none of the work, right? However, it can also be hard. Not only do you literally have to stay hard on top, you also need the stamina, skill and technique to make it a pleasurable experience for all parties. There can be a lot of pressure to perform.

FS rounded up a team of tops, looked over our shoulders, and asked them what they love about topping, what they expect from a bottom and what they think makes a good top. Is it a case of every hole is a goal (which is a weird analogy to use for gay sex, as I bet hardly any of them have kicked a football in their life)? Or does it take more to make topping tip-top?

OK, here we go. From the top…


Apart from a primal urge to put your penis into orifices, what exactly is so good about being a top?

“I appreciate a guy’s whole body,” explains Mike. “I get a lot of pleasure from arse play – rimming and fingering – before fucking. So, fucking is the culmination of lots of body, ass and cock play. I enjoy the sensation and sight of my cock entering a guy’s arse and the action of fucking, whether it is doggy or on his back.”

For Kieran, it’s a case of mind over penis matters. “The sensation is great, but the psychology takes it to the next level. Sliding into a tight but well lubed hole and feeling it throb and relax around you is amazing, but seeing your bottom’s eyes widen, their skin flush, pupils dilate and that gasp of breath – it makes it a fully sensory experience rather than just the nerve endings in my dick. 

“Sensation-wise it can be a bit samey after a while as a top, so it’s the mental aspect that really keeps me going. Hearing their moans, seeing their goosebumps, skin getting flushed and red makes me feel awesome. It’s that primal thing – the look of surprise and then delight as your bottom suddenly realises he’s going to cum hands free is the biggest ego trip.”

“For me, being a top was always a process of elimination,” believes Will. “I’m just not a bottom. I’ve tried it and I didnt enjoy it. However, I do like being in control, which isn’t to say a bottom can’t take control – I like it when they do! I just think if I had to sum up what I like most, I think pleasure and satisfaction is easier to see in a bottom. You know if you’ve done a good job and that feels good to me. I like pleasing my partner, making them squirm/hyperventilate/moan/scream, and I’m not satisfied until they are.”

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For a career top, there’s often one spectacular time that convinces them to dedicate their life to the rhythmic art of anal entering. 

Kieran regales us with his top topping tale. “It was with a guy who was so happy and confident in his identity as a bottom and at ease with his physicality that he was really comfortable to try different positions. We had great chemistry and synergy, which, as much as he was physically incredibly attractive, mostly came from his confidence in his sexual role. Being a good bottom is a thing to be proud of – and boy was he! We moved all over the place, trying different positions, speeds, combinations of things up him and it was all a really enjoyable experience about two people exploring their bodies together and wanting to make the other feel good. Only through trial and error did we find a really random position that made him go crazy – we’d never have gotten there if he didn’t have that comfort level.”

“Mine was in a sauna,” explains Mike,  “I was fucking a guy in a sling while being watched by several other guys who were getting off and wanking. I got off on being watched, performing and being encouraged by them and the guy I was fucking was taking my cock like a pro. Watching the guys shoot their cum over the guy as I was fucking him put me over the edge.”

One guy put Will under his spell. “One of the best bottoms I ever fucked did something fucking magical with the muscles in his arse. He squeezed my cock in ways I’d never felt before. It was amazing and it made me go crazy. We were at a (non-drug) sex party and I’d just met him and did this in front of five or six other guys. The combination of all of that turned me on probably more than I’ve ever been in my life. I nearly came right away.”

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