Here is another “controversial” article from GMFA (the gay men’s health charity) that is giving me a lots of headaches – to present it or not? The main (actually the only) reason for my dilemma is the language used by original author(s) of the article. Stated references for the article are credible and there is no any controversy in that regard. However, they have used “plain” English or some might call it “street” English. Well, the fact is that (most of) people use that language in their normal conversation on the topic. I am not the only one having doubts about the language of this (and most of their other) article. Here is a quote from one comment posted on their site/blog:
Most gay men get fucked at some point in their lives, although research indicates that about one gay man in seven has never been fucked . For some men the thought of getting fucked can be scary, and so below you will find information about how to get fucked safely and comfortably. However some men do not enjoy being fucked and, if you don’t want to get fucked, you should not feel pressured into it. There are other things that you can do. Getting fucked without a condom is the sexual activity with the highest risk of HIV transmission. If you are HIV-positive there is also a risk that you can pass HIV on to your partner if he fucks you without a condom. Being on treatment for HIV and having an undetectable viral load makes transmission less likely. Using condoms and lube correctly can prevent HIV from being transmitted when you get fucked.
Fucking is like decorating – it’s all in the preparation. Taking the time for foreplay will make fucking much more comfortable. This can include rimming, gentle fingering, lubrication, patience and listening to each other and responding appropriately. Making sure you take the time to do these things can also help the sphincters relax and reduce the amount of pain and discomfort men experience when having anal sex.
Different positions will be more comfortable for different couples, depending on the angle of the erection and the curvature of the penis. Any position where your knees are bent and drawn into your chest, whether you are kneeling, lying on your back or on your side, will probably lead to a more comfortable fuck, or will be a good position to start from. This position will straighten out the anal canal and the pubo-rectal sling will draw back to allow smoother entry to the arse.
If you want to read the rest of the original article please use the link
Keep it clean
You need communication, you might think it’s embarrassing to talk about but believe me it’s far less embarrassing to say “do you know what? I might not be clean” than for your sexual partner to find that out the hard way.
If you’re in doubt take some time and go to toilet, remember that while the anus and rectum do not usually store feces, there may be remnants left behind so make sure to thoroughly clean the area around your butt, I’ve found that moist towelettes (baby wipes) really help with this or if you have a little more time maybe try a quick shower.
Spontaneous or long term partner, communication is important as it helps both (or more) of you understand what, if any preparations are needed to be made beforehand, it also lets everyone prepare for any potential accidents that may occurs. Be aware that if they do occur, it’s ok, these things do happen just bare in mind that next time you might want to allow for more time to prepare.
As a final note, remember it’s your body, take your time and enjoy yourself. If you’re not enjoying yourself listen to your body, change position or go a little slower.
Do not be afraid to tell your partner no, or ask them to slow down or even stop. You’re not letting anyone down and you should never feel guilty for having to stop.
Sometime your body isn’t ready for sex regardless of the amount of preparation you do, and forcing your body to do it could end very messily. Long term partner or a one night fling safe sex is always key, whether you choose to wear a condom or go bareback, make sure you get your sexual health checked on a regular basis and know your status.