SEX ADVICE: One Night Standards


Durex Real Feel Sexpert Alix Fox has written about sex and relationships for everyone from Men’s Fitness to Bizarre magazine, so her nookie knowledge spans the whole sexual spectrum from beginner and vanilla to the most obscure and fascinating kooky kinks.

by Alix Fox

“I’m a strong advocate of the idea that almost anything goes in the boudoir so long as it’s safe, consensual, and conscientiously considered, so whatever rocks your world is unlikely to shock this girl!” she smiles. “Equally though, I don’t preach that you have to be some kind of crazy wild child in order to have a satisfying love life – not at all. Sex isn’t a competition to see who can be the most bonkers bonker, so I’m a big believer in getting the basics right, and recognising and developing whatever works for you.”

Since she’s down-to-earth about getting down ‘n’ dirty, THEGAYUK asked Alix to give some top tips on getting the best from one night stands. “Often, the one night stand – or ONS – is simply a one-off night of indulgent fun for both partners,” she says, “but sometimes an ONS can leave both parties feeling like the experience could have been better, both physically and emotionally, and perhaps stop a could-have-been relationship in its tracks if it’s disappointing. There are no hard and fast rules about how to make a hard and fast night go brilliantly, but my tips are designed to avoid a one night stand becoming stand-up comedy (or worse) and instead make it stand and deliver a damn great time, and maybe even lead to more.”

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⦿ Make sure your head’s in the right place (and I’m not talking about saucy positions).

Many a lasting love has stemmed from what was originally intended to be a one night stand, and some people like to cut to the chase and find out quickly if they’re likely to be sexually compatible before they begin dating someone on a longer-term basis. However, the majority of ONSs are just that – one-time hook-ups. Ensure that you’re in the right frame of mind to appreciate this. Be honest with yourself about the situation, and realistic in your expectations. If, afterwards, it’ll make you bawl if they don’t call, an ONS could set you up for a fall.


⦿ Clear the doom from your room. If you know you’re likely to be bringing someone back to your place, do at least a 10-minute basic tidy before you head out. Make your bed; whack dirty washing out of sight; make sure there’s bog roll and baby wipes in the bathroom so it’s easy for your ONS to freshen up before you get fresh; and for god’s sake, make sure there’s no poo in your loo. Ew! This may not be your style, but I like scented candles in my boudoir: not only do they make it smell delicious, but they cast light that’s much more flattering and relaxing than having the big bulb on.

⦿ Get Durexcellent! Surely I do not need to tell you the zillion reasons why you need to use protection if a newcomer penis is going to feature in your plans. Carry at least a couple of condoms, and carry them correctly: they can get creased and damaged in your wallet, so slip some into a metal business card holder instead. Keep Durex by your bed, too – I empty mine into a discreet wooden box so that a new lover doesn’t see an opened packet and wonder who (ahem) came before him. Just make sure that if you have a mixture in there, they’re all in date. Top quality condoms mean peace of mind, easier use and better sensation: I love Durex RealFeel, made from a next-generation latex-free material (so no worries about allergies) that’s fine, strong, and also super-stretchy so they go on smoothly, fit brilliantly and almost feel like they’re not there. Better condoms equal better-feeling sex. If you’re sleeping with someone for one night only, don’t risk the experience being downgraded by relying on some dodgy beer-flavoured novelty rubber from a pub vending machine.

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